Heartbreak.
We hear it all the time. Break Ups, Death, Losing someone close? Yeah lets just say me and heartbreak are familiar with each other. There are days where I just wanna scream to the world, its not fair. Its not fair that the person you though you wanted to be with the rest of your life, the one person you knew you could tell everything to, the person who you, yourself knew, they were always going to be there. And they just end all of that, like its no big deal. Without trying to figure out how we could both work it all out. But i don't think that hurts as much as knowing that they had someone else too. The fact that you know you wanna fix it all but every time you talk all you can feel is the heartache and torture you do to yourself. Knowing that they are with that other person doing everything you want to be doing. And doing everything you did before. everything you ever shared. with that person.
i dunno about you but trying to lie to myself that i can do this and i can try and fix this, isn't working anymore. i don't think i can take the fact that you can talk to me and pretend that everything is fine, when we both know that is is clearly not. I'm over the fact that i have to cry to myself to make it all feel better, to actually feel that its real.
Just when i thought i could do this, you were gonna end it with her(since its seems to me you don't care much about her anyways) i was gonna come up for the 4th of July, surprise you. try and just see if everything was still there, but i don't think i could deal with myself up there with you still with her.
so I'm writing this why? because i need to vent? no because I'm over it.
